hitwalker
Sells PC To Pay For Divorce
Joined:
Posts: 5661
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 Posted:
Wed Nov 08, 2006 7:01 pm |
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*Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.
*Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.
*Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day.
*Start playing football -- see how many people you can get to join in.
*Run up to an employee (preferably a male) while squeezing your legs together and yell, ''I need some tampons!!''
*Try on bras over top of your clothes.
*Make a trail of orange juice on the ground, leading to the restrooms.
*While walking around the store, sing in your loudest voice possible ''Sex and Candy''
*Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, ''I think we've got a Code 3 in Housewares,'' and see what happens.
*Tune all the radios to a polka station, then turn them all off and turn the volumes to ''10.''
*Play with the automatic doors.
*Walk up to complete strangers and say, ''Hi! I haven't seen you in so long!...'' etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment.
*While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself loud enough for all to hear, ''Who BUYS this s**t, anyway?''
*Repeat Number 13 in the jewelry department.
*Put pairs of women's panties on your head and walk around the store casually.
*Leave small sacrifices or gifts in the hands of the mannequins.
*Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store as your playing field.
*As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, ''Wow. Magic!''
*Put M&M's on layaway.
*Move ''Caution: Wet Floor'' signs to carpeted areas.
*Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.
*Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners.
*Nonchalantly ''test'' the brushes and combs in Cosmetics.
*Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying,''...I'm Batman. Come, Robin -- to the Batcave!"
*TP as much of the store as possible.
*Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.
*Play with the calculators so that they all spell ''hello'' upside down. (01134)
*When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, ''Why won't you people just leave me alone?"
*When two or three people are walking ahead of you, run between them, yelling, ''Red Rover!''
*Look right into the security camera, and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.
*Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full-scale battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men.
*Take bets on the battle described above.
*Set up another battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. Barbie. (Red lipstick might give an interesting effect...)
*While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are. Act as spastic as possible.
*While no one's watching, quickly switch the men's and women's signs on the doors of the restrooms.
*Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from ''Mission: Impossible.'
*Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.
*Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags.
*Fill an entire cart with boxes of condoms, and watch everyone's jaws drop when you attempt to buy them.
*Set up a ''Valet Parking'' sign in front of the store.
*Two words: ''Marco Polo.'
*Leave Cheerios in Lawn and Garden, pillows in the pet food aisle, etc.
*''Re-alphabetize'' the CDs in Electronics.
*In the auto department, practice your ''Madonna'' look with various funnels.
* Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse through, say things like ''the fat man walks alone,'' and scare them into believing that the clothes are talking to them.
*While walking around alone, pretend someone is with you and get into a very serious conversation. Exp: The person is breaking up with you and you begin crying ''How could you do this to me? I thought you loved me! I knew there was another girl, but I thought I had won.'' Then act as though you are being beaten and fall onto the ground screaming and having convulsions.
*When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream, ''No, no! It's those voices again!''
*Go to an empty checkout stand and try to check people out.
*Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and relax.If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don't get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.
*Get a stuffed animal, go to the front of the store and begin stroking it lovingly, saying ''Good girl, good Bessie."
*Go over to the shoe department and try on every pair of shoes, not putting one pair back. Take the paper from the boxes and throw it in various aisles.
*When someone steps away from their cart to look at something, quickly make off with it without saying a word.
*Follow people through the aisles, always staying about five feet away. Continue to do this until they leave the department.
*Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.
*Test the fishing rods and see what you can ''catch'' from the other aisles.
*In the makeup department, spray yourself with every perfume there is, then walk up to a boy who is with a girl and start flirting with him as ditisily as possible: ''Hi! (giggle) What's your sign? (giggle).'' When the boy shows no interest, start hitting on the girl the exact same way. ''Hi! (giggle) What's your sign? (giggle).''
*Hold indoor shopping cart races.
*Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.
*When there are people behind you, walk REALLY SLOW, especially through narrow aisles.
* Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out.
*Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.
* Pay off layaways fifty cents at a time.
*Say things like, ''Would you be so kind as to direct me to your Twinkies?''
*Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired employees if there are any in stock, i.e., ''Do you have any Shnerples here?''
*Ride a display bicycle through the store -- claim you're taking it for a ''test drive.''
*Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.
*Get boxes of condoms and randomly slip them into peoples' carts when they aren't paying attention.
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jaded
Theme Guru
Joined: Nov 01, 2003
Posts: 1006
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| Posted:
Thu Nov 09, 2006 9:32 am |
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lol. I hate to admit this but my family is crazy. They actually do some of these things lol.
my sister does this
*Try on bras over top of your clothes.
my uncle has done this
*Walk up to complete strangers and say, ''Hi! I haven't seen you in so long!...'' etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment.
and my brother in law does this one
*While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself loud enough for all to hear, ''Who BUYS this s**t, anyway?''
It is actually very funny even though it is embarrassing. At least they are not boring people I suppose lol  |
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Susann
Moderator
Joined: Dec 19, 2004
Posts: 3191
Location: Germany:Moderator German NukeSentinel Support
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| Posted:
Fri Nov 10, 2006 10:16 am |
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*When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, ''Why won't you people just leave me alone?"
They never asked me. Maybe its because our wal-mart is so mini but they have always some bikes there and a test drive trough the store is on my list |
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